


Recoverer

by snafund



Category: Larry - Fandom, Larry Stylinson - Fandom, One Direction, Ziam Mayne - Fandom, ziam - Fandom
Genre: 1d, AA-group, Anorexia, Anorexic Zayn, Awkward Conversations, Bulimia, Depression, Doctor Liam, Eating Disorders, Recovery, a bit of comedy, black humour, cute moments here and there, dark humour, one direction - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2018-09-05
Packaged: 2019-06-13 05:01:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15356832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snafund/pseuds/snafund
Summary: Zayn is forced to check into an AA-group for eating disorders. There, he meets other people sharing his condition and a doctor who is against all odds.OR; Zayn slowly finds himself falling for a flamboyant on-duty doctor and an off-duty nerd with an obnoxious taste in colorful clothing.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here we have something I've been working on for a while now... This'll probably keep me busy for quite some time, so sorry if I don't update on my other fics as much as I usually do! (which is not that much actually...)
> 
> Please enjoy and leave comments, I love reading feedback :)

The morning was bad this time. Zayn had to force himself up because this time he really did have to go. But it was hard. He had already missed seven appointments and now he couldn’t keep avoiding the issue anymore. His mother called him all the time during the morning, making sure that he was actually exiting his flat and going out.

 

The air was cold and a few flakes of snow slowly fell down from the cloudy sky. Zayn hugged himself to try and get his body to warm up even a little. He hurried to the bus and jumped in, only to see that all the seats were taken.

 

_ ‘’Who even rides the bus at 6:30 in the morning…’’ _ he thought to himself and held onto a handle hanging from the bus’ ceiling. The trip was boring and the scenery consisted of old houses and concrete buildings. Zayn almost forgot to jump off as he was lost in his mind staring out the windows.

 

       The hospital looked enormous and hollow before him. He slowly made his way in, feeling the anxiety crawl up his spine. He walked to the reception and asked for the right way to his destination. He had to walk through half of the building and climb up two staircases to get to an even more quieter part of the hospital. The door he stood in front of had a dull white paper sheet on it and black letters.

 

**‘’Anorexia’’**

 

The word twisted his stomach and made him want to vomit. He had to take a minute before he could grab the door handle and push himself inside. As soon as he opened the door, he was struck with warmth and a smell of doughnuts and coffee. He wasn’t sure if his stomach was still twisting with the word he dreaded, or the smell of greasy and sugary pastries.

 

‘’Ah!’’ he heard a bright yell from across the small hallway leading to the entrance. A young man walked to him, wearing a striped jumper and blue khakis. He had a tie on, which popped out as a bright red. His socks were bright yellow, mixing the whole wardrobe even more. Zayn almost felt attacked in his all-black attire, that he couldn’t bring up any words to greet the man.

 

‘’You must be Zayn Malik,’’ the man said and shook his hand. ‘’I’m the doctor running this program, and the rest of us have been waiting for you a while. Pleased to finally meet you.’’

 

Zayn read the nametag on the man’s jumper and grimaced at the irony. Pain. Yeah, that’s fitting.

 

‘’Come on,’’ doctor Payne’s voice didn’t lose any of the brightness and he continued. ‘’Let’s go meet the others.’’

 

       There was a ring of chairs in the middle of a room and on every chair a person sitting on it. Doctor Payne was holding a file of papers and waiting patiently for everyone to quiet down. Zayn looked around and saw nothing but strangers with clothes that didn’t fit them, dark circles around their eyes and the same concerned and anxious look on them.

 

‘’Good morning.’’ said doctor Payne and Zayn winced as all the others replied to him in a monotone unison. ‘’We have a new addition to the team. Zayn, why don’t you tell the others something about yourself?’’

Zayn froze. He hadn’t expected this. ‘’...Like what?’’ he said confused.

 

Doctor Payne smiled. ‘’Anything, anything you’d like to say.’’

 

Zayn shifted in his seat and looked at the others. They were staring at him, waiting for some kind of a compelling story.

 

‘’I’m Zayn.’’ he started and the others cut him off by saying hello to him. Zayn had to take a few seconds to pull himself back together. This was all too much to take in. ‘’I’m 23 and I’m from Bradford.’’

 

‘’Excellent!’’ the doctor said cheerfully after Zayn had quietly looked down for a couple seconds. ‘’Now, I’d like you to know all the others. Let’s start from my right.’’

 

‘’I’m Harry, I’m 22 and I have anorexia.’’ said the young man with long curly hair from next to doctor Payne. Zayn looked at him and then moved on to the next one.

 

‘’I’m Niall, I got bulimia.’’ Zayn was sure he could hear an Irish accent to his voice. He had blonde messy hair and a scruffy Ed Sheeran -hoodie on. The rest said their names and conditions. Michael, Louis, Sarah, and Coby, who made it clear that she wasn’t supposed to be here and that they put her in the wrong group.

 

‘’Good, good.’’ Doctor Payne said as the circle was completed. He then moved onto handing out papers and pens. ‘’I want every and each one of you…’’ he started and stood up. ‘’To think of five different words to describe the good things about yourselves.’’

 

The doctor walked to a radio and put a CD in it. ‘’And everyone has to come up with exactly five.’’ he pressed play and a loud sound of rock music filled the room. Zayn looked as the others got into work and then to the doctor, who was eyeing him interestingly. He looked down to his empty paper and then to his pen, trying to use mind control to make it move without his hand.

 

       ‘’Times up!’’ the doctor declared from his standing point next to the radio and put the music’s volume down a little. He then rounded back to his chair, flipped it over and sat down resting his arms on the back of it. ‘’Let’s see what we got. Louis, go!’’

 

The small looking man straightened up on his seat and coughed before opening his mouth. ‘’Sassy, quirky, cheeky, wacky and most importantly: adorable.’’ he said with a loud obnoxious voice and smiled seemingly pleased with himself.

 

‘’You can add ‘insane’ into that list.’’ doctor Payne said with a chuckle and made everyone laugh. ‘’You do realize that all of those words mean the same?’’ Zayn couldn’t help but let a small grin escape from the corner of his lip as well. The whole room was going more and more frantic as the doctor kept quickly switching from person to person and he could swear the music was getting faster and louder.

 

‘’Cobyyy, you’re up!’’ he yelled and pointed at the fragile, slightly ragged looking tomboy next to Zayn.

 

‘’Smart, persistent, honest, extroverted and most importantly rad.’’ she said and doctor Payne snapped his fingers and pointed to Harry, who ran a hand through his long hair and opened his throat.

 

‘’Calm, kind, understanding, great hair,’’ to which Louis not-so-secretly nodded. ‘’Open-minded and has an excellent taste in heeled boots.’’

 

‘’True, all so true.’’ doctor Payne said and then turned to look at Zayn, who felt uneasy the minute their eyes met. ‘’Zayn, you’re the last one left. Let’s hear it.’’

 

Zayn looked down to his paper and then back up. ‘’I’m -I’m sorry, I only got one.’’

 

‘’One?’’ the doctor looked at him questioning. ‘’Okay, say it.’’

 

‘’Different.’’ Zayn said and folded the paper nervously. Doctor Payne looked at him with the same interested expression he had before and shut his file.

 

‘’Okay.’’ he said and shot up from his seat. He straightened his tie and waited for everyone to leave their chairs. ‘’Session’s over, you are free to go.’’

 

When Zayn walked past him, he heard the doctor call him back. He reluctantly walked back into the room and faced doctor Payne.

 

‘’It’s great that you finally were able to come down here.’’ he said in a kind tone. ‘’You’re already making progress, you’re going to end up just fine.’’

 

Zayn looked at him and nodded. ‘’Thank you, doctor.’’

 

‘’Please,’’ the other man said quickly. ‘’Call me Liam, that’s what the others do.’’

 

‘’Okay… Liam.’’ Zayn said quietly and exited the room. He walked out the hospital the same way he had come in and was able to catch the bus. He was happy to be going back home again, although the session wasn’t as bad as he had imagined. The crazy fashion sense and attitude on the doctor had really exceeded all his expectations.


	2. Bracelets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, gotta be fast on the updates. (For once, I'm actually a few chapters ahead in writing.)

Zayn threw around his clothes and empty red bull scattered on the floor of his bedroom, trying to find his phone. It was beeping in an irritating way and he was getting annoyed not finding it. At last, he kneeled down and stretched his arm under his bed to retrieve it and shut the alarm. He had gotten up before it and completely forgot about it. It was the day for his second group session and he hardly slept because of the excitement. He also wasn’t completely sure whether it was anxiety or happiness of seeing the people that shared his problem and the kind, and a bit crazy, doctor.

 

As Zayn settled himself into a bus seat, he noticed that his reflection in the window had sleek hair and a trimmed beard. He hadn’t seen his face this clean for months and was a little surprised. The dark circles under his eyes reminded him of his condition soon after.

 

The hospital was again very quiet. He still remembered the right way to the group’s room and walked quickly. This time the door was open and the warm air from inside had seeped into the hospital hallway. Coffee had turned to tea.

 

       ‘’Morning!’’ doctor Payne filled the room with his sharp voice as he entered. The group was already seated on their chairs and he sat down on his own. ‘’Today I have us a fun little thing to do…’’ he had a box on his lap and tapped the top of it. ‘’We’ll make some beautiful jewelry.’’

 

‘’Don’t tell me, we’re doing some sort of bracelets.’’ Coby exhaled and rolled her eyes. The doctor smiled back at her and opened the box, pulling out bags with different beads in them. There were different colors, lettered ones and even some with glitter on them; he must have looked like a madman buying them all from the craft store.

 

‘’Um, Liam,’’ Louis held his hand up awkwardly with a smirk on his face. ‘’Can everyone choose their partner?’’

 

The doctor chuckled and threw a bag of glittery beads at him. ‘’If you _ have _ to work with Harry, you can.’’

 

The small man smiled victoriously and dragged his chair to the curly haired one as the others looked for their own partners. Zayn remained on his place, not sure of who to work with since he hardly knew anyone. The girls joined together, Michael went with the Irish one and the only one out was the doctor, who had already walked to him.

 

‘’Since there is no actual member to join you, I’ll step in.’’ doctor Payne said with his awfully kind voice and dropped his box onto Zayn’s lap to go back around and turn the music on. Remaining dumbfounded, Zayn held the box up for the others to get beads from him. The doctor came back with a chair and sat down next to Zayn.

 

‘’So, basically,’’ he started and got a string from the box and a bag of beads. ‘’We make a bracelet for one another and they’ll get to keep it as a reminder of what we went through as a group. Sort of like a friendship bracelet, but I guess this should be called a AA-bracelet.’’

 

The doctor gave a chuckle and Zayn took his time to observe the man’s attire for today. The blue khakis had turned light brown, jumper into a nice white dress shirt. He still had the same tie, though, but his socks were pink. Even the laces on his shoes were different color from one another. The man probably owned a full rainbow of clothes and accessories.

 

‘’Here, try to find the letters to spell our names, while I go see what the others are up to.’’ Liam passed him a bag and walked off. Zayn got to work, managing to find apparently the one ‘z’ in the whole bag after a good time. He observed the others, talking and working together. He made note, that Harry and Louis were especially good at this, already half way done. Michael had been nice enough to integrate the Irish flag into his bracelet for Niall and Coby collected all the darkest colours for Sarah to put into her bracelet.

 

       The music stopped and everyone exchanged their bracelets with their partners. All of them seemed pleased with the results, tying them around their thin wrists. Zayn fiddled with the one he made for the doctor and nervously waited for him to come back.

 

‘’Here,’’ the man threw a bracelet to Zayn and sat down. ‘’Let’s se mine.’’

 

Zayn handed the bracelet to the man and was pleased to see him smile wide as he examined it. Zayn had piled all the most bright colored beads and combined them into a rainbow around the name ‘Liam’. The doctor tied it around his wrist, just under his watch.

 

‘’This is exactly what I hoped for,’’ he said still maintaining his smile. ‘’Thank you, Zayn. I hope I did a good job on yours as well.’’

 

Zayn tied his bracelet and turned it around his wrist. The doctor had used null colors, white, gray and black but also scattered a few bright ones into the mix. He liked it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be a lot, even if it's a short one.


	3. dinner

Weeks went by and Zayn found himself in a bookshop, an actual real life bookshop outside of his flat, browsing through shelves. The doctor had given them a homework this time to go and buy, or loan, some books on healthy cooking, balanced dieting etc. 

 

As Zayn tried to pick out an appropriate book, he had a hard time not falling over as the very same doctor entered the shop. It felt as the whole structure was shot with a rainbow as the man walked in. A loose bright red hoodie, black torn jeans, yellow trainers, red socks and a snapback with a Batman -logo on it. ‘’ _ HOW COULD THIS MAN EVEN BE A DOCTOR, HE LOOKED LIKE A HIP HOPPER WHO WENT SHOPPING ON SPEED. _ ’’ -was the definition that blasted through Zayn’s mind as he held onto a bookshelf, trying to hide behind it.

 

As he peeked around the shelf, to his demise, the man noticed him. As if the world was against him exiting his home.

 

‘’Afternoon!’’ the man exclaimed from quite a distance and Zayn wished the earth to swallow him down. The doctor walked over, pulling his earphones out and smiling wide. ‘’I see you’re making progress on the homework I gave you guys.’’

 

Zayn bit the side of his cheek, feeling nauseous of the brightness the man presented to his eyes. ‘’Ye-yeah…’’ he got out and peeled his eyes off of the doctor and instead went back into reading the cover of a book he was still clenching in his hand.

 

‘’Here,’’ the man said and took a step nearer to Zayn, who almost let out a gasp when his deodorant caught his nose. He even smelled divine. The doctor grabbed a book from the shelf and handed it to Zayn. ‘’This one’s great. It has all the important stuff in it.’’

 

‘’Oh.’’ Zayn said as he got the book, holding it awkwardly between them. And the doctor still smiled.

 

‘’Well, I have to rush,’’ the silence, that Zayn felt was an eternity, was broken. ‘’I got to pick up some school books I ordered and get back to the hospital. I have the weekend working.’’ he said and swirled around to leave Zayn standing there speechless.

 

‘’Oh.’’ Zayn got out after a while and finally ordered his hand to pull the book closer to himself and not hang it in the air like a lunatic. What just happened..? And why, exactly..?

 

       The book was good. Very good. Zayn flipped through it as he sat on his sofa and imagined himself cooking. Yeah, he rarely did a lot of that. But he was determined to try some of the recipes out. Even if just for the fun of it.

 

The next day he went shopping. It was difficult to find the right things, because it was another thing he rarely did. He struggled two full bags back to his flat and was sweating after closing the door. He put all the things he bought into their places and then looked at his now full fridge. It didn’t look as depressing as an hour earlier, when it only had a bottle of ketchup and two moldy carrots in it.

 

Next was the actual cooking. He got out the recipe, read through it patiently and fetched the ingredient onto his counter. He followed every instruction with care and precision, trying to make the best god damn meal he had ever seen.

 

Two hours and a lot of swearing and burnt fingers later, Zayn placed the pristine looking meal onto his kitchen table. ‘’ _ Beautiful. _ ’’ he thought as he marvelled at it, turning the plate around on the table. He sat down in front of it and got up his fork, only to stop on his tracks before sinking it into the food. He felt ill, horrible even. He ran into the toilet, gagging over the sink but nothing came out. He slid down onto the cool tiled floor and leaned against his bathtub.

 

‘’Fuck.’’


	4. Stevie's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the nice comments! <3

‘’Okay, so, write down your favorite restaurant, it can be a fast food joint too, and we’ll have a choose.’’ Liam announced in the middle of the chair-ring and held up a paper bag. Everyone went to thinking and scribbling. Zayn looked around for a while, making note of how quick the others were to answer.

 

He remembered a place from his childhood. A hamburger restaurant at the edge of the city where his parents took him and his sisters every weekend. It was a small place, but he remembered it served some of the most amazing meals. Perfectly crispy chips and massive burgers. He wrote the name down on a little piece of paper and dropped it into the doctor’s bag.

 

The doctor collected all the little papers and shuffled his hand inside the bag. He then offered it towards Sarah. ‘’You’ll be our lucky lady today, Sarah!’’

 

The girl put her hand inside the bag and pulled out one paper and then handed it to the doctor, who opened it. ‘’Stevie’s?’’ he said and looked around.

 

Zayn’s stomach twisted as he heard his restaurant to be chosen. Perfect. ‘’That’s me.’’ he said quietly.

 

‘’Great!’’ the doctor said and ruffled the paper bag into a ball in his hands and tossed it into the bin. ‘’We’ll go there then, our little excursion.’’

 

        The doctor had come up with a trip for them to go into one of their favorite food places. They’ll all take the bus and travel together. Ugh, Zayn didn’t really want to be crammed up in a bus with them for 20 minutes.

 

They left the next day at 2pm.  For Zayn’s luck, the bus was empty, giving all of them the option to sit wherever they wanted to. Of course, Louis charged past everyone to tag along to Harry and sit beside him. The others sat next to the person closest to them, but Zayn decided to sit alone, a few seats away from anyone else. He could feel the doctor’s eyes drilling into the back of his head.

 

‘’Zayn!’’ he heard from behind himself. ‘’Come sit with the others, don’t want you to mope alone.’’ the doctor’s voice was as cheery as ever, and Zayn dragged himself up and to sit next to him. This trip was already going amazingly.

 

‘’So, what made you pick this place?’’ Doctor Pain (pun intended) asked after he settled down.

 

‘’My mum and dad used to take me and my sisters there.’’ Zayn said monotone, not really wanting to start a conversation. It felt weird talking to these people outside the hospital.

 

Louis shifted in his seat, turning around slightly to look at Zayn. ‘’You got sisters? How many?’’

 

Zayn looked back and it took him a moment to form a sentence. ‘’Uhm… one big sister and two little ones.’’

 

‘’Wow, that’s a lot of girls in one house, right?’’ Niall chuckled from behind Sarah and Coby. ‘’And just you, no brothers?’’

 

‘’I got a twin, he moved out a few years ago.’’ Zayn said, remembering Rodger. It had been almost five years since he last even texted him. Rodger had his own problems.

 

‘’Identical?’’ Coby jumped into the conversation.

 

‘’Yeah.’’ Zayn answered, making the others look at him.

 

‘’Two of you, that’s nice.’’ Louis said after a while and then winced as Harry gave him a discreet nudge to the side. The others laughed, making Zayn slip out a smile too.

 

‘’Great talk, great talk.’’ Liam said after everyone calmed down. He peeked over the seat in front of him and then turned back. ‘’We’re almost there.’’

 

       As the group entered the small restaurant, they immediately were hit by a smell of burgers and fries. McDonald’s was nothing compared to this place. Zayn felt almost emotional remembering all the good memories from this place.

 

‘’Okay, take your time ordering.’’ the doctor said after everyone got in. ‘’And don’t worry, there’s no one coming in when were here.’’

 

Slowly, they formed a line to the counter. The doctor was first, ordering a salad of all things in a burger restaurant. Niall and Michael went next, ordering heaps of fries but no burgers. Sarah and Coby ordered cheeseburger meals. Louis turned out to be a gentleman, paying for both his and Harry’s food. Zayn looked at the menu, trying to find his favorite meal.

 

‘’Double-burger with fries, please.’’ he said at the old man running the cash register.

 

‘’Okay, anything else?’’ the man pressed buttons and wrote down a note to the kitchen.

 

‘’A coke, zero.’’ Zayn said and pulled his credit card out. The man smiled and looked up, recognizing him.

 

‘’Zayn? Is that you?’’ he said not believing his eyes. ‘’Little Zayn?’’

 

Zayn smiled, feeling good the man still remembered him. ‘’Yeah, Stevie.’’

 

‘’Oh my goodness! Good seeing you!’’ the man let out a gasp and shook his hand. ‘’How’s the family?’’

 

‘’Great, they’re all great.’’ Zayn said and pressed in his pin code. He pulled the card out and smiled as the man was still examining him.

 

‘’Well, hope you’ll still like our food.’’ Stevie chuckled and Zayn nodded kindly. He then subconsciously walked to the table his family always sat at. It was next to the windows and had more comfortable seating. He then looked around the interior and noticed that nothing had changed. Not a single bit of it.

 

       Everyone actually ate something, even if it was just a few fries. Doctor Payne marveled his group with a warm smile, feeling that he had made progress with them. Especially proud he was of Michael and Niall, who had somehow eaten all five packs of fries they got. And Niall didn’t excuse himself to go to the bathroom to vomit them out.

 

Zayn finished half of the burger he got, feeling more full than ever before. He drank the coke with a straw and looked at the others talking about this and that, laughing even at times. He didn’t mind sitting alone, he liked observing people more than talking to them. He caught a thumbs up from the doctor as their eyes met and couldn’t hold back a slight blush. Wow, he really was developing into an issue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YES, Rodger Malik never gets into anything :'D I love Zayn for ''having an identical twin''.


	5. swipe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's juicy. (Also, I don't even know what this fic is turning into at this point. :'D)
> 
> ++ Thanks for the comments and kudos ! <3

Zayn kept testing out the recipes. Every day, he tried another one, threw it in the bin and turned to Netflix. On the fourth day, though, he stood in front of the kitchen table for a good fifteen minutes before forcing himself down onto a chair. He eyed the plate with spaghetti on it.

 

‘’I’ll have a taste of you.’’ Zayn said to himself, picking up a fork. ‘’I will.’’

 

He lowered the fork, sticking it into the spaghetti and twirled it around. He grimaced as he got a roll of spaghetti on the fork and examined it in the air. ‘’Okay… Okay!’’ he tried to smile and slowly put the fork into his mouth.

 

He chewed.

 

He swallowed.

 

He shivered. ‘’Jesus christ.’’

 

After staring at the plate for a moment, he dug into it, forkfuls of spaghetti entering his mouth. ‘’Jesus christ?’’ he asked to himself between bites. He continued eating until he felt sick. Two thirds of a plate was okay for him and he ran out the kitchen to fall on his sofa and wait for death. But instead, death never came and he had to watch more Netflix.

 

       Friday came again. Zayn made his usual trip via the bus to the hospital and noticed the climate had turned warm. Spring had come.

 

The door was this time open, not emitting any kind of a smell in particular. Zayn walked in, expecting the doctor to charge from behind a corner to greet him. But no.

 

‘’Hello?’’ he peeked into the main room and saw it empty. ‘’The hell?’’

Zayn walked to the stairs and noticed a post-it note on the one he usually sat on.

 

**‘’Look out the window.’’**

 

Zayn read the note confused and then rounded to the windows. He browsed the view outside and picked up a group of people sitting in the hospital garden. He stuffed the note into his jeans’ pocket and hurried back outside.

 

       ‘’You found us!’’ doctor Payne said as Zayn sat down to steady his breathing. Zayn really wasn’t in a good shape for jogging through a building. ‘’Great, now we can start today’s exercises.’’

 

The group spent their session doing different kinds of conversations. They talked about food, sports, music, friends and everything in between. The doctor was usually on the voice, but Louis was a good second.  Zayn didn’t put much of him into the talking, but listened closely to everything. He learned, that Coby used to live on the streets before finding a new family to live with, Michael had moved here from Australia and Harry was in a band. Niall was previously a chef in a hotel before getting depressed from the stress and Louis had tried to kill himself three times. Sarah told about her adventure to India last summer and doctor Payne told about his studies and how he was still in school.

 

‘’So, let me get this straight,’’ Louis opened his mouth after the doctor stopped talking. ‘’You are a fully qualified doctor, aren’t you?’’

 

‘’Yes,’’ doctor Payne chuckled. ‘’I’m just studying psychology. Maintaining this group is part of my learning.’’

 

‘’So we’re an experiment.’’ Sarah said and everyone looked at the doctor, who shifted in his seat.

 

‘’No, no,’’ he said. ‘’This is very important to me, just like it is to you guys. We’re making something good together.’’ Everyone agreed.

 

‘’Okay, let’s make this a successful AA-group, then!’’ Louis said cheerfully and doctor Payne showed him a thumbs-up.

 

       This evening Zayn made yet another meal, but managed to finish it all. He was proud of himself as he looked at the empty plate. He felt like he was going to explode from being so full so he dragged himself into bed. He took his phone, flicking through apps in boredom.

 

He stopped his thumb on one app and grinned to himself. ‘’Yeah, like I ever needed this.’’

 

Zayn opened the app, a picture of  man popping up on the screen. His sister had forced him to download Tinder a year ago to get him some action. He had never used it since.

 

He swiped through the pictures, an array of different people flashing before him. Then his body jumped up into a sitting position and he stared at the screen.

 

‘’No. Fucking. Way.’’ he said out loud as he stared at a picture of a neatly clothed man. ‘’This isn’t real!’’ he laughed as he rolled down into his profile. Oh, it was real.

 

‘’Liam Payne, you never stop to amaze me…’’ he mumbled as he read the description and what he liked and disliked. He chuckled at the nerdiness and his over-excited description of himself. Zayn had to admit, he liked reading comics and watching Marvel-movies himself, but this man exceeded him by a mile.

 

‘’I’m just going to-’’ Zayn was about to swipe left, but his phone slipped out his hands and accidentally doctor Liam Payne headed right. Zayn yet again stared at his phone, now terrified.

 

‘’Fuck….fuck, fuck…. FUCK!!!!’’ he screamed and looked at the phone. ‘’WHY!!???’’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes. That happened, apparently.


	6. maps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, it's been a while ! Thanks for the comments and kudos <3

The next session was rather awkward on Zayn’s side. At first, he didn’t even want to leave for the bus, but then he thought, that it would be even more embarrassing if he hadn’t shown up. So, now he was seated in the room, a glass of fanta in his hands and trying his best to evaporate himself.

 

The doctor seemed oblivious of Zayn’s last night fuck-up, so he felt a little more positive about living. The group carried on doing exercises and making maps on how they would recover, but all Zayn could do, was sneak looks at the doctor and his short beard and perfect brown eyes. _ Perfect brown eyes?! _

 

Also, he made note of the man’s especially casual attire. He had a nice light blue dress shirt, light brown khakis, BLACK SOCKS, nice shoes and… well, the illusion was broken with red laces on the other shoe and blue on the other. Zayn thought, that maybe the doctor always needed at least one little splash of oddity in his clothing.

 

       ‘’Okay,’’ Zayn got snapped out of his daydreaming when the doctor clapped his hands together. He held up a pack of blue tack and pointed at the wall. ‘’We’ll stick everyone’s plans onto the wall there so we can keep track on our progress.’’

 

Everyone got up, piling at the wall and passing the blue tack around. Louis, obviously, had to mount his wildly coloured and very artistic, in its own way with a multitude of smiley faces, poster next to Harry’s more neat one. Niall stuck his own next to Michaels and Zayn noticed that they had gone with a similar theme. Sarah and Coby had used glitter on their maps and drawn each other’s portraits. Zayn looked down to his own paper, filled with different types of graffiti-styled texts. He had also drawn a little lion in the corner.

 

Doctor Payne examined all the posters on the wall and nodded approvingly. ‘’Very good. I see everyone made them look like themselves. Nice work, team!’’

 

They took their time to go around and read each other’s maps to success, and it was interesting to find out even more about the others. Zayn was especially surprised on how different the posters turned out for everyone. Some were full of stuff, others simple and easy to follow.

 

‘’Your is really cool.’’ the doctor tapped on Zayn’s shoulder. ‘’I like the graffiti-thing you’ve got going on.’’

 

‘’...Thanks.’’ Zayn almost made it a question. He was a little surprised someone liked it. ‘’I used to do a lot of them when I was younger.’’

 

‘’Really? You were a bit of a criminal, then?’’ doctor Payne chuckled and smiled.

 

‘’Yeah, I guess.’’ Zayn said with a slight smile. He could feel a blush crawling its way up to his cheeks, but managed to smother it down. ‘’The others look cool as well.’’

 

‘’Oh, yeah!’’ the doctor said and looked away from Zayn to let his eyes travel over the posters. ‘’I really like how many different odd-looking smileys Louis was able to produce in such short time.’’

 

Zayn chuckled. And then immediately felt weird for doing so. He hadn’t really laughed in a long time. The doctor smiled at him warmly and then turned to go talk to the others. Finally, the blush overpowered Zayn and his face fell bright red.

 

       Later that night, Zayn laid on his bed and performed a thorough google search on Liam Payne. He found some of his medical articles, dismissing them as too complicated and moved onto looking for photos. He found one from the hospital’s web page, where they listed all the doctors. He had slightly longer hair on that and Zayn spotted a few curls, too.

 

He then found his instagram. And it was a motherload. The doctor was quite active on his page and had a nice lot of pictures for Zayn to look through. There were fishing trips, cycling photos and some from abroad. He had apparently been to Australia and Japan last year and posted a few photos posing with landmarks and such.There were also pictures from a comic convention from last June and Zayn liked how he had taken photos of only comic book characters.

 

The doctor had a lot more colorful and interesting life than Zayn. He didn’t even have instagram, but he could imagine himself posting some angsty black and white selfies once a year.

 

       Zayn spent the next week stalking the doctor’s social media. He tapped through every mystory and new post. He eventually found his twitter and got even more insight into his life. On Twitter, he usually talked about medical stuff with his doctor friends, but sometimes he also posted pictures of his dogs doing funny things. Zayn liked his dogs; the other one was a massive Great Dane, even though it was still a puppy, and the other one a smaller and fluffier one. Zayn gathered that their names were Watson and Loki. Yet another nerdy thing about doctor Payne was naming his pets after fictional characters.

  
Also, Zayn found more vacation photos. Some with his family, some with friends. But he couldn’t find anything pointing to a past girlfriend or boyfriend. He either was a private person when it came to relationships or he just never dated anyone. Zayn soon noticed himself thinking, that maybe the doctor didn’t go out on dates at all. He then grimaced to himself for thinking about the possibility of himself going out with the doctor.  _ Yeah, not a chance. _


	7. dogs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I'm back after a while
> 
> Hope you like this little thing with just the two of them being awkward :'D

****

Weeks flew by and turned into months and eventually Zayn noticed half of the summer had gone past him without any notice. He had balanced his life between the AA-group and turning his flat upside down. Something had taken over him and he had realized the state his apartment was in. He had painted the walls with a new layer of white, bought a new sofa, labelled glass jars for spices and ingredients and changed his bedsheets every three days. He even managed to fix his dishwasher that had been broken for two years.

 

As he was sitting in his small kitchen, the window open and blowing cigarette smoke outside, he noticed a familiar figure walk down on the pavement. The doctor he had so keenly had his eyes fixed on for the last half a year was there, stopping at the bus stop next to Zayn’s apartment building. He had his dogs on a leash sitting beside himself and was scrolling his phone. Zayn kept staring down at him for so long that the cigarette in his hand ended up burning his fingers and he almost screamed from the sudden pain.

 

He squeezed his fingers in his other hand to numb the burning and returned to look out the window. To his horror, the man at the bus stop was now squinting up back at him, clearly trying to see who it was. Zayn wanted to duck down and hide but the man was faster and waved at him with a big smile.

 

‘’Hey, Zayn!’’ the doctor yelled and his dogs looked at him confused. Zayn awkwardly waved back, looking around if any people down on the streets was seeing this interaction. ‘’You live here?’’

 

Zayn stared at him, not really wanting to yell out his window like a crazy person. ‘’Ye- Yeah.’’ He hesitated.

 

‘’Can I come over? I just looked at the bus schedule on my phone at it seems that I’m here way too early.’’ doctor Payne held up his phone as if Zayn could somehow see the screen from 20 meters away. ‘’Please?’’

 

Zayn fought an internal battle with himself for a second before standing up and pushing himself out the window a bit more. ‘’I’ll come down to let you in.’’

 

The doctors face lit up into another smile and he got his dogs up. ‘’Thanks!’’

 

       ‘’Is it okay if I let them loose?’’ the doctor asked as they entered Zayn’s flat. They were already sniffing around in his hallway and trying to pull away.

 

‘’Sure.’’ Zayn said and soon the dogs charged into his home, quickly going through the whole apartment.

 

‘’Sorry for any paw marks, Loki might’ve jumped into a small river on the way.’’ the other man said as Zayn smiled.

 

‘’Oh, it’s okay.’’ Zayn said quickly and walked past him. ‘’I don’t mind it, especially because I rarely get any dog-visitors here… or visitors in general. ‘’ he gave a nervous chuckle.

 

‘’Wow,’’ he heard a breath behind himself as the doctor walked into his living room. It was still tidy from Zayn’s last cleaning session and the white walls really popped out when it was daylight. ‘’You’ve got a really nice place.’’

 

‘’Thank you.’’ Zayn said and sat down on his sofa to scratch the dogs that had taken their places on it. ‘’Your dogs are really cute.’’

 

‘’Yeah, Loki and Watson,’’ the other man sat down too and looked at the three of them. ‘’They’re my best friends.’’

 

Time went by and Zayn found himself in shortage of subjects to talk about. He felt like he was back in high school, trying to have a conversation with his crushes.  _ God, _ he was like a child.

 

‘’So…’’ he started after a few minutes of silence and them looking at the dogs having a play fight on the floor. ‘’Where are you going?’’

 

‘’What?’’ the doctor snapped out of his daydreaming and looked at him puzzled.

 

‘’The bus.’’ Zayn said shortly.

 

‘’Oh! Right…’’ the man chuckled and got Loki up onto his lap after Watson had given him a rather loud bark. ‘’I was coming from my sister’s, she had my boys over for the time I was in a seminar at the university. It was literally just five hours of sitting and listening to old men lecture about mental disorders.’’

 

‘’Oh yeah, you’re still studying.’’ Zayn said as Watson laid his huge head on his knee and licked his hands. ‘’School wasn’t ever really my thing…’’

 

‘’Oh, I get it.’’ the doctor said. ‘’I hardly passed college and got into med school just because my dad is a professor there. I was kinda forced to start studying then.’’

 

‘’That sounds rough.’’ Zayn looked at him but the other man smiled.

 

‘’Yeah, I guess… But now that I think about it, I really like working in the hospital and helping people.’’ he looked down to Loki biting his finger and his smile warmed up even more. Zayn felt almost like he could melt just looking at him.

 

       ‘’I should get going…’’ the doctor said after a few seconds of comfortable silence and looked at his phone. ‘’The bus’ll come soon.’’

 

‘’Yeah, right…’’ Zayn said almost sad and gave Watson one last boop on the nose. He scratched the behind of Loki’s ear and followed them into the hallway, leaning against the wall.

 

‘’Thanks for, uh… Keeping me company and letting me barge into your home, I guess.’’ the other man laughed as he got his sneakers on. He put the dogs on their leashes and stopped for a moment to look at Zayn. ‘’This was nice.’’

 

Zayn looked back at him with a baffled face. ‘’Ye- Yeah, it was.’’

 

The doctor nodded and smiled. ‘’See you on Friday, then. It’s Louis’ turn to bring a movie and I’m guessing it’s going to be quite interesting.’’

 

_ Oh yeah, we had started watching movies together. _ ‘’Yeah, I’m looking forward to it.’’ Zayn chuckled and followed the three of them out the door, leaning against the frame. He then rushed back into his kitchen to spy the man running to the stop just in time to catch the bus.

 

‘’I need to get my shit together.’’ he said to himself, slumping down onto one of his kitchen chairs and running his hands along his face.

**Author's Note:**

> Part two coming soon !


End file.
